Friday, August 14, 2009
Book sample 1
Hello friends,
Many of you kindly replied that you would comment on some samples from my workbook concept. I was surprised at some of the voices that pitched in - wonderful to have feedback from a diverse group.
For this sample, I'm experimenting with some new ideas in writing style, so what I'd really like to know is how this passage makes you feel. What thoughts and emotions does it create, if any? Please be honest. If you think I might be embarrassed or upset by what you have to say, let me assure you that I'd rather you say it when it's a blog post than years from now when it's a book. Besides, I can always delete your comment. :)
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If you are reading this book, you are a very lucky person.
It might not feel like a big deal if the act of picking up the book wasn’t a big exertion. You might not usually think about all the power you have that allows you to acquire and read a book.
First of all, you had to be a human being. Whatever your ideas are about how a human being comes to exist, there is a certain awe in the recognition that the energies which became you could have been other things. Out of all the possibilities, you are a human being. Not only that, but if you are somehow understanding these words, then you are a relatively healthy human being blessed with a strong mind. There are many humans on Earth right now who do not have the health, focus, or intelligence to understand these words, due to age, illness, malnutrition, or extreme survival conditions distracting them.
Secondly, to read this book, you had to put some effort into education, language, and literacy. Whether or not you were the very best student, you stuck with it enough to really learn to read and understand language at a sophisticated level. There are many humans who turn their back on literacy because of more pressing needs or confusion about what is important in life. With the blessings of your teachers and guides, you acquired some education and understanding. Maybe all this seemed automatic to you, but that would only be because you had a good attitude about it from the beginning – because you expected to develop yourself into a mature and intelligent being.
And then, with all these good conditions in place, you had to encounter this book. This is a really rare event. Various sources estimate that between 20 million and 100 million books have been written. If you read a book a week for 60 years, you would read 3000 books – a tiny fraction of everything written. To find a book that can change your life for the better requires both discernment to narrow the field and good fortune to encounter the correct book.
Now you have arrived with all these advantages, navigated through and around all the books that couldn’t possibly help you, and found this book that could possibly make a big and beautiful difference in your life. Of course, it still isn’t a sure thing, but it’s definitely worth a determined effort to read and contemplate these ideas. This very moment, in this very special human lifetime, could be the time when you find the breakthrough that you need.
-----------------------------
Book sample 1
Hello friends,
Many of you kindly replied that you would comment on some samples from my workbook concept. I was surprised at some of the voices that pitched in - wonderful to have feedback from a diverse group.
For this sample, I'm experimenting with some new ideas in writing style, so what I'd really like to know is how this passage makes you feel. What thoughts and emotions does it create, if any? Please be honest. If you think I might be embarrassed or upset by what you have to say, let me assure you that I'd rather you say it when it's a blog post than years from now when it's a book. Besides, I can always delete your comment. :)
---------------------------
If you are reading this book, you are a very lucky person.
It might not feel like a big deal if the act of picking up the book wasn’t a big exertion. You might not usually think about all the power you have that allows you to acquire and read a book.
First of all, you had to be a human being. Whatever your ideas are about how a human being comes to exist, there is a certain awe in the recognition that the energies which became you could have been other things. Out of all the possibilities, you are a human being. Not only that, but if you are somehow understanding these words, then you are a relatively healthy human being blessed with a strong mind. There are many humans on Earth right now who do not have the health, focus, or intelligence to understand these words, due to age, illness, malnutrition, or extreme survival conditions distracting them.
Secondly, to read this book, you had to put some effort into education, language, and literacy. Whether or not you were the very best student, you stuck with it enough to really learn to read and understand language at a sophisticated level. There are many humans who turn their back on literacy because of more pressing needs or confusion about what is important in life. With the blessings of your teachers and guides, you acquired some education and understanding. Maybe all this seemed automatic to you, but that would only be because you had a good attitude about it from the beginning – because you expected to develop yourself into a mature and intelligent being.
And then, with all these good conditions in place, you had to encounter this book. This is a really rare event. Various sources estimate that between 20 million and 100 million books have been written. If you read a book a week for 60 years, you would read 3000 books – a tiny fraction of everything written. To find a book that can change your life for the better requires both discernment to narrow the field and good fortune to encounter the correct book.
Now you have arrived with all these advantages, navigated through and around all the books that couldn’t possibly help you, and found this book that could possibly make a big and beautiful difference in your life. Of course, it still isn’t a sure thing, but it’s definitely worth a determined effort to read and contemplate these ideas. This very moment, in this very special human lifetime, could be the time when you find the breakthrough that you need.
-----------------------------
Comments:
Kevin, I reply to this explaining how I read your initial post. I started reading the passage and for some reason found the first paragraph (the two sentence one) confusing to read. The words seemed to be tripping over themselves and getting in the way.
I then got called away and came back to the passage much later.
On the second read through I was pulled into the writing. I am assuming that you are working on the Buddhist idea of the preciousness of the opportunity that we have - but approaching from what it is that has brought them to have your book in their hands? So that is how I was reading it. I was pulled in and intrigued.
I don't know if someone would think, "yeah, yeah, got the point, what are you trying to say?" But hey, if they are, you still have them, you are trying to point something out and I like that you catch people.
David.
I then got called away and came back to the passage much later.
On the second read through I was pulled into the writing. I am assuming that you are working on the Buddhist idea of the preciousness of the opportunity that we have - but approaching from what it is that has brought them to have your book in their hands? So that is how I was reading it. I was pulled in and intrigued.
I don't know if someone would think, "yeah, yeah, got the point, what are you trying to say?" But hey, if they are, you still have them, you are trying to point something out and I like that you catch people.
David.
Kevin,
I liked the simple and direct language.
I was confused by the sentence beginning "It might not feel like a big deal...", in part by the double negative, and in part because I was distracted trying to find a context for "big exertion" that made sense of the statement. No further editorial criticisms from me. The rest of the text seemed to flow well.
I felt a growing sense of excitement about the text as I read it; it felt personal, like you were highlighting the intimate relationship I as the reader had with the book.
I like that approach, the personal reader/text relationship. It felt a little jarring to me when I encountered the words "[you] found this book that could possibly make a big and beautiful difference in your life". At that point, the text stopped being an open invitation and seemed to be telling me what kind of relationship I was having.
Perhaps something like: "Of all the possibilities, is this book the one for you, right now, in this precious lifetime?" would be appropriate.
My two cents.
Erich
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I liked the simple and direct language.
I was confused by the sentence beginning "It might not feel like a big deal...", in part by the double negative, and in part because I was distracted trying to find a context for "big exertion" that made sense of the statement. No further editorial criticisms from me. The rest of the text seemed to flow well.
I felt a growing sense of excitement about the text as I read it; it felt personal, like you were highlighting the intimate relationship I as the reader had with the book.
I like that approach, the personal reader/text relationship. It felt a little jarring to me when I encountered the words "[you] found this book that could possibly make a big and beautiful difference in your life". At that point, the text stopped being an open invitation and seemed to be telling me what kind of relationship I was having.
Perhaps something like: "Of all the possibilities, is this book the one for you, right now, in this precious lifetime?" would be appropriate.
My two cents.
Erich
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