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Where do ethics come from?

As small children, our initial ethics are developed by instinct. Instincts guide us second-by-second, sometimes directing us toward a sense of connection by playing with and helping others, and sometimes toward a sense of control and autonomy by taking what we want or influencing others. As we navigate our world according to our inner needs of the moment, we come into conflict with other humans who have different inner needs.

Those conflicts help us develop rules for behavior based on how other humans are likely to react. Our experience leads us to a set of guidelines that include other people and their opinions. It’s not so much compassionate as it is predictive, but it’s an early stage of ethics in that it involves the first tempering of momentary inner instinct for the good of a longer-term purpose.

Once we include predictions of other people in our ethics, we have a lifetime of learning about other people. People are complex, and have a lot of influences we can’t see, so they can appear quite crazy to us. The first step in coping with this is usually to develop experimentally some basic rules that seem to work in current circumstances. We might call these “coping mechanisms” or “survival strategies”.

If we will live a life without a lot of change or travel, this might be enough to stay out of trouble. The downside to stopping there is that we must stay in our current situation. We’re not very free.

The historical ancestors of the ninja were forced out of familiar circumstances. Originally aristocracy, they had ways of being that had persisted for generations. When their world underwent radical change as a result of war, it became clear that their existing rules for life would now lead only to death.

This kind of crisis stimulates the desire to develop a larger understanding.

When the time comes to develop ethics that might transcend limited local circumstances, we have to use our intelligence and our experience to try to understand what went wrong, and how we might avoid it in the future.

We realize that certain truths persist across individuals. For example, no one likes to have real violence directed at them, and they are likely to respond unfavorably now or in the future. No one likes to be manipulated with lies, and anyone who discovers that they have been is likely to respond unfavorably.

These things are intellectually easy to understand, but they are hard to remember and implement under pressure. Because they are easy to understand, they might seem somewhat obvious during moment of calm reflection, and we might not give them much thought.

The whole purpose of ethics is to use our moments of calm reflection to develop guidelines for when things are crazy, threatening, and out of control.

If we do not do this, then we will act incorrectly in the moment of threat and stress. Once we calm down, we will easily understand the mistake we made, but it will be too late. The damage is done.

Thus, well-developed ethics protect us from ourselves. As little children, the rules of behavior seemed like limitations because they were imposed from the outside, or seemed related to the bizarre whims and attitudes of others. It’s quite possible to get to adulthood and still feel that way.

It is critical that we redefine ethics as personal protection guidelines based on intelligence and experience. It is imperative that we develop ethics by ourselves and for ourselves.

Of course, we can and should take the advice of our elders into consideration. We should not throw away every guideline we received from parents or institutions. Neither should we keep following them blindly, constrained by the inner voices and judgments of childhood. Instead, we should consider each one. From what threat was that guideline protecting us? Is that threat still valid in my life now? If so, does that guideline still apply in that same form, or should it be re-interpreted for more relevance in my life now?

In this process, some advice from childhood endures and remains true today. You will have an even deeper appreciation for and understanding of that advice. Other advice will need modification in form if not in spirit, and you will feel great relief in releasing the tension of trying to fulfill an inner obligation that doesn’t fit your life. You may also discover delightful new truths that the people of your childhood could not predict.

You will find yourself both ethical and free.

In 1998 I stumbled in to To-Shin Do without any real consciousness of how profoundly it would become my life. The system had only just taken the name To-Shin Do in 1996, but it is the distillation of ancient ninjutsu, the art of the ninja, as experienced by the great martial arts legend Stephen K. Hayes. As a yellow belt, as I read his biography and the story of his journey to Japan to lift this astonishing martial art out of the shadows, I recognized a spiritual journey as well. I resonated with his description of his adventure and the insights he gained.

His journey included ordination in the Tendai sect of Buddhism in Japan, which led me to investigate the same in 2000. His journey included training in classical weapons such as sword and shuriken, which led me to do the same, earning my first Kihon licenses in classical weapons in 2004. His journey included bodyguarding for His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama of Tibet, which led me to study and develop the skills that ultimately led me to bodyguard for His Holiness the 17th Karmapa of Tibet in 2008.

To-Shin Do unfolded in my life as a proving ground for my spiritual insights. If I thought I recognized something about the nature of time and space, I could quickly test myself with people who tried to punch me, kick me, or choke me unconscious. If I thought I had reached an inner state beyond any disturbance, I could swiftly experience as much pain, struggle, or awkward failure as needed to clarify my actual attitude. Transcendent fantasies were quickly dispelled. Not only could I not phase through solid objects, but I also couldn’t entirely contain or ignore my displeasure at being dominated, overwhelmed, or panicked in martial practice.

During the early years of my training, it became clear to me that I demanded a spiritual truth which could persevere beyond a few seconds of anger or struggle. I was humbled but motivated to realize that real spiritual presence in the world was going to take a lot more inner strength than I guessed - an inner strength cultivated to be ready in a heartbeat, in the face of all kinds of actual and perceived threats. Without that, any person, or even the accidents and whims of nature, could take away my equanimity, skill, and happiness almost instantly.

As the years passed, I put my theories to the test and discovered more about the right way to move, speak, and think. I found truth grounded in experience and experiment. As a member now of the To-Shi order of protectors, I have access to even more of the inner secrets of how life works and how we work in it. I train with more enthusiasm than ever, and I bring a warrior’s commitment to determining what is real, worthwhile, and reliable.

The results of my studies are many, but one very visible result is our dojo community. Come see what we've built, and then let me show you how to make your own dreams real...

The Ninja Mind is the mindset that perceives things from the perspective of a ninja.
The historical ninja of Japan were known for their unconventional perspectives, perspectives that freed them to perceive possibilities that their enemies could scarcely imagine.

It’s not easy to develop an unconventional perspective – that’s why it’s unconventional. The ninja trained their minds and hearts in order to perceive the world differently. They studied Japanese shamanism, Buddhism, Taoist theory, and of course the warrior ways of Japan. They also studied politics, economics, history, and art. Then they took all this knowledge and went out into the world, observing the way of things and how history unfolds. Over time, this allowed them to develop a view bigger than an ordinary person.

Unconventional perspectives are not the same as countercultural or unpopular perspectives. While the ninja could certainly entertain countercultural or unpopular thoughts if it helped them to do so, the kneejerk tendency toward contrarianism is just as limited as blind conformity. Contrarianism and conformity both suffer by being trapped in a view, unable to seriously consider alternatives.

The Ninja Mind constantly asks, “What if things are not as they appear to be?” The Ninja Mind actively looks for clues pointing to a greater reality, asking why things appear as they do. Some of the hardest things to question are the things which are most obvious and seemingly unchanging in our lives – it is obvious, for example, that the sky is blue. However, if we ask “Why is the sky blue? Does it always have to be so?” we are led to a deeper understanding of both color and the nature of the sky.

This is a simple example that helps to explain the ninja mindset. The real questions are such things as “Why do the obstacles in my life exist? What created them? What sustains them?” In questioning, the ninja comes to understand obstacles in an unconventional way, and from there, creative and skillful solutions can be formed.

I've recently been reading the book How to See Yourself As You Really Are, by His Holiness the Dalai Lama. In it, His Holiness comments on the value and meaning of compassion. As I read his thoughts, it strikes me that the definition of "compassion" I received growing up is not the same as the way His Holiness explains it.

His Holiness says, "Compassion opens our own inner life, reducing stress, distrust, and loneliness." Yet, the version of "activist compassion" I learned as a youth left me very stressed out for the poor and oppressed, and distrustful of power in most forms. I was left lonely too - like a lone visionary struggling against a larger society that valued only greed and destruction.

But that's not what His Holiness is recommending that we cultivate.

Many years of practice opened up a deeper compassion - com as in "shared with" and passion as in "desire or aspiration". I came to realize the shared aspirations of all people, and through that lens, I came to see that the awkwardness and even destruction sometimes created is truly a misdirected attempt at security and prosperity for those we love.

This view reduced stress ("the problems of this world are natural"), increased trust ("of course all people are trying to do the right thing, to their view"), and gave me a warm feeling of connection to all people - even the destructively confused.

From that humble but meaningful success I concluded that this must be what is meant by compassion in the Buddhist tradition. I also concluded that language, combined with our deep personality inclinations, can lead us astray.

What view are you cultivating? Does it open up your inner life, reducing stress, distrust, and loneliness?

Every path of personal growth will eventually take us through three forms of doubt. These types of doubt work like the barricades of a castle; each time we encounter one wall of doubt, we have the opportunity to pass through a gateway of deeper commitment to and connection with the path.

The first barrier is alienation. Any path of growth will surely challenge us. We will become aware of personal lacks in the process. When these lacks are revealed to us, we can respond in one of two ways. If we are afflicted by extreme self-grasping (the desire to remain just as we are and justify our current self), we will turn away from the path and declare it false or simply "not for us". If we can instead see the chance for self-improvement (the potential of a better self), then we can make the first inner commitment, which is identification with the path. That means we recognize that the path is for us, the other people on the path are like us, and we can come to relate to the practices.

The second barrier is inconvenience. Any path of growth will make logistical demands on us. It may take time, money, personal energy, or discomfort to pursue the path. The demands may grow over time, or our circumstances may change and make us feel like we have less resources available than when we first started. When this challenge moves into the foreground, we can respond in one of two ways. If we are under the influence of moderate self-grasping (the desire to control and protect myself and my resources, to remain free of obligation or struggle), we will declare that we intend to pursue the path later, just as soon as things get easier. We claim to still be on the path, but in reality, we cease to invest in it and cease to progress in it. If we can instead see the chance to become a more skilled and effective person via the growth the path offers, then we can see that we must pursue the path for ourselves, our friends and family, and the greater world. Any resources used for the path are a sound investment. This is the second inner commitment, when the path becomes a lifestyle.

The third barrier is frustration and confusion. As we go deeply into the path, and our unique understanding develops because of our history and the details of how we practice the path, we will realize that not everyone agrees with our interpretation of the goals and methods of the path. We will find that even among skilled and widely acknowledged practitioners, there are disagreements over the best way. Our own search for the best way drives us to want to find an answer. Again, we can respond in one of two ways. This barrier mixed with subtle self-grasping (the subconscious belief that my experiences and views are objectively and universally true) leads us to conclude that we have special or deeper insight, and the other experienced practitioners are incorrect, limited in understanding, or possibly even corrupt. We claim to be on the path even more than they are. In that case, our path actually diminishes because we are now closed to input from other views. If instead we can see that our deep understanding is necessarily unique because of the unique experiences that shaped our practice, and that others' deep understanding is also unique and valid, then we can make the third inner commitment, where our engagement with the path is a personal offering to others and not in competition with them.

If this is achieved, our connection to the path is total. We are the path, and the path is defined by our life.

Rules for Women’s Self Defense as Experienced by Mary Aitoshi, President, Boulder Quest Center

1. Train in an intelligent martial art. This might seem self-serving but there’s a reason I’ve invested all my personal wealth, time, and passion into creating a venue for exploring the magic that arises when we harness our personal power to make a better world.

2. Have friends. Predators like to isolate people emotionally and physically and your best line of defense is having friends in multiple social circles. This is true whether you are walking home or in a violent relationship. You’ll hear people say “always walk with a buddy” but it’s not always practical and it’s not always safer. However, you carry those important to you with you in spirit and they bring me to point #3.

3. Live a life you enjoy. If you know why your life is worth living, you’ll be better prepared to make decisions when that enjoyment is threatened. Does this predator want $5, your self-esteem, or your ability to have dinner with your loved ones? How important are those things to you? If you don’t know your value, how can you make decisions under pressure? (Intelligent martial art training can help you answer that question.)

4. Learn the difference between fear and intuition. This takes time and training but it’s a learnable skill. Out Ninja Magic class on Saturday’s is specifically geared to help make intuition a natural outcome.

5. Manage your risk. All of life has risks and any choice we make has a many possible outcomes. Intelligent martial arts training lets you play with choices in a low risk environment so you can better decide how to deal with the risks in your life.

6. Be Magical. Life is wondrous and you are a part of it. The Ninja of ancient Japan were martial arts wizards who unlocked the secrets of nature in order to protect their family and friends. Nine families through time have passed down these secrets to the current generation.

Wouldn't it be wonderful to have visionary secrets that would allow you to deal with dangerous personal security issues decisively, powerfully, and successfully, and at the same time feel safe to be as heroically kind, benevolent, and helpful in society as you could be?

If you are interested in feeling more capable, martial arts may just be the path for you. If you are interested in learning to live with more freedom and less fear, the Boulder Quest Center may be for you. If you want to connect with the life you’ve dreamed of living, the path of the ninja awaits you.