In 2008, I wrote an article on the holidays and family violence. I put in that article things you could do other than avoid risk. Later, a letter the editor indicated one woman’s distress that I stated it's ok to choose to be in a dangerous situation. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this woman’s discomfort as I’ve been building my Warrior Divas concept. I’ve been thinking about what makes my approach different than other approaches I’ve encountered and I think this argument is at the crux of the matter. I believe that women have the right to choose to put themselves in dangerous situation.

I believe women have the right to be soldiers, doctors, cab drivers, welders, ninja, astronauts, housewives, editors, students, lesbians, designers, adventurers, or homebodies. I believe they should embrace life with all its risks and rewards. I believe I train in martial arts to be a better protector of myself, my family, my community, and my planet. I trust that having a strong personal foundation will help me be a better person. I understand that the more I know about myself, the more risks I take, the more I stretch myself, the more I can help others. I push myself all the time to do more, be more, grow more. I give myself rest time every day so that I can integrate all I’ve learned. I rejoice in spending time by myself, with my husband, and surrounded by friends. I love to teach; I love to learn.

These dualistic pairings of opposites are the epitome of womanhood. They are our strength, our power, our core. To deny our ability to stand tall and face danger is to deny ourselves all the joy life. I think we as women should strive to be more than we were yesterday. I train in To-Shin Do® to discern the difference between fear, intuition, and premonition. I train so that when I need to decide whether or not it’s safe to walk down that alley, I make that choice based on my judgment of the present. I believe that this moment, right now, is my opportunity to create a more capable world. Why would I deny that call?

Labels: Boulder, Colorado, danger, protector, To-Shin Do, women's self defense

Recently, Erich Smith (Chapel Hill Quest) and I were having an exchange on Facebook. I thought his realizations and connections were so cool that they needed to be shared with more people. Erich gave me permission to repost his ideas here. Thanks Erich!

I was inspired today by your fantastic new window posters! I was thinking also about the recent post about the dojo phrases we internalize.

We've accreted several phrases at the CHQC over the years, but the core have always been:

Keep your...
knees bent,
back straight,
eyes open and on the bad guy,
and...
move your feet!

[We repeat these] over and over and over again. Today, I tried to listen to them with fresh ears, and heard something completely new (to me):

knees bent - CHI
back straight (movement with head over hips over feet) - SUI
eyes open and on the bad guy - KA
move your feet - FU

From a certain point of view, each of the elements could be viewed as isolated (for learning's sake) explorations of the dynamics presented in the cardinal rules.

If I had to pick a dojo phrase for void/KU, I'd go with "It's always my turn!"

Labels: Back Straight, Cardinal rules, It's Always My Turn, Knees Bent, ninja, ninjutsu, To-Shin Do

We have a lot of folk wisdom in the dojo. "Keep blood in your skin sack". "It's always your turn". "Hard weapons=soft targets". But I think my favorite is the one we aren't allowed to say "I can't". If you say those words on the mat, you'll quickly find yourself doing push-ups but you'll also have an instructor right there to talk to you to phrase what you really mean. It could be that you think "This is really hard" or it could be "I have no idea what you mean". These two statements are very different and making the distinction between them will allow your training to progress. The words "I can't" stop all future growth; you just stop dead and now you start trying to prove how you really can't. You can. Maybe not today or even tomorrow but if you keep trying eventually you'll say "I did it"!

Labels: empowerment, inspiration, motivation, power, To-Shin Do

I am so excited to be a guest blogger on StephenKHayes.com. For those of you who regularly read the Densho, you know what a high quality blog An-Shu maintains. It is a huge honor to be on the blog and share my thoughts on the national forum. My blog "A Feminine Perspective on Fighting" is filled with insights into my martial path. If you've ever wondered why I started on this path or why I continue, check out my story.

Labels: ninjutsu, Stephen K. Hayes, To-Shin Do

Boulder Quest had an awesome graduation tonight. Kim Speek did her demo, one of her requirements for Brown Black. Both Kim and Jenn Zuko Boughn did some free response against armed attackers. Every tester from White belts to Brown Belts did an incredible job. Check out the Boulder Quest group on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/group.php?gid=45564007476&ref=ts and share your pictures with us. Also, please post your answer to the question: What was your favorite part of the test?

Labels: To-Shin Do

There are six major stalking types found in the United States and it's no longer just celebrities who need to worry about them. As American females our conditioned responses can often lead us astray in effectively countering a stalker. In April's Women's Magazine , I discuss the stalker types and how to effectively protect yourself (without having to engage in hand-to-hand combat). For more information on training in the most effective self defense (To-Shin Do), visit Stephen K. Hayes Quest Network for a list of schools. In the Boulder, CO area, you can train with me at the Boulder Quest Center.
View the article

Labels: self defense, stalker, Stephen K. Hayes, To-Shin Do

I always love to see our students blogging about classes and seminars. It is such a strong testament to our community that folks take the time to share with everyone. I hope you'll check out Boulder Quest's own, Jenn Zuko Boughn sharing her enlightenments from the Stephen K. Hayes seminar. While your there, why not follow her blog too?
~Aitoshi

Labels: ninjutsu, SKH, Stephen K. Hayes, To-Shin Do

Labels: Date rape, ninja, rape, safety, self defense, To-Shin Do

Protect Yourself: Ladies Night was filmed by two different reporters. I haven't yet seen the 7 News video but the Daily Camera has produced theirs. Props to the Daily Camera!

To view, comment on, and rate the video: http://www.dailycamera.com/videos/detail/self-defense-women/.

Enjoy!
Mary Aitoshi

Labels: ladies night, protection, self defense, To-Shin Do, video, women

This Saturday I am running a FREE Women's Self Defense class at the dojo. (Boulder Quest Center, 1200 Yarmouth Ave, 303-440-3647). It's short notice because I hit my limit over the weekend of stupid advice in response to the 6th attack in downtown Boulder (since Halloween). In the most recent attack, the woman fought back and got away! Every day I talk to women who are afraid that fighting back will escalate the problem, that they'll be labeled a B!&*H, or that they will freeze up. My two-hour self-defense workshop addresses these issues and is driven by participant questions and experiences. In previous workshops, we've covered everything from ground defenses and weapon wielders to animal attacks and smarmy co-workers.

In this workshop, we'll have the chance to practice physical and emotional defenses, hit targets, and practice under pressure. Invite your friends, family, and any other women you care about to join me for this free event.

Boulder Quest Center
1200 Yarmouth Ave
Boulder, CO 80304
(303) 440-3647
www.boulderquest.com

Labels: protection, self defense, To-Shin Do, women

This holiday season I am indulging an old dream and creating a World Holiday Celebration for the dojo. This dream was born over a decade ago when I worked for a YMCA. We had a basket of inspirational sayings and a person could just choose one out of the basket whenever the fancy struck. I loved this basket. After only about 2 weeks, the basket disappeared. I asked my friend in management about it and was told that we had to remove it because it only had inspirational sayings from the Bible and was therefore more exclusionary than the Young Men's Christian Association wanted to be.

On the one hand, I understood. They wanted to appeal to more people and not alienate others. On the other hand, I was outraged. There are many religious and secular traditions with wisdom to share. Why not expand your offerings around an inspirational theme, instead of sanitizing the experience.

So I made a vow to promote difference, rather than a sanitized experience, and thus the World Holiday Celebration was born. I don't want to arbitrially celebrate holidays; I want the dojo to represent the holidays BQC students celebrate. To participate, bring in a decoration to share with the dojo, enter our Art Contest, participate in free classes, and have a joyous holiday! (And don't forget to Give Props! this holiday season to everyone who makes your world a better place!)

Labels: Christmas, Dojo, Holiday, To-Shin Do, World

Two things:

First, I want to mention how much I am enjoying one of my senior students' integration of our To-Shin Do path into his job as a professional computer programmer. We frequently discuss the Kihon-Shoden-Chuden-Okuden educational model of classical Japanese martial arts, and he has realized some great things about himself and his evolving path in code. How much more Matrix-like can you get than a kick-butt ninja who is also a computer code master? We need to get him a black trenchcoat for his birthday next year.

More even than the substantial cool factor, his story is an illustration of how studying To-Shin Do transforms our relationships in all aspects of life. He really is on the tatsujin "master of all aspects" path. After four years and a black belt, Thomas has a sense of a vast realm of possibilities just dawning. That's often said but seldom found in martial arts, but To-Shin Do does that for people. I'm proud to be his teacher, and to represent, illustrate, and demonstrate this path for him and others.

If you're a coder yourself, check out Thomas' blog post on our other project (Propits). You can see the blog at propits.blogspot.com.

The second thing I want to mention is how much I like enjoyed lighting things on fire at my friend's 30th birthday bowling party. I don't think anyone else enjoyed it - I think they found it alarming. So, I have to be more careful and be less alarming. I do feel bad about alarming others. But from a pure aesthetics perspective, I find watching fire delicious. It's even more delicious when it's incongruent - for example, this fire was burning on top of ice, in a styrofoam cup. I get some deep sensory pleasure out of observing those kinds of contrasts. It's unfortunate that the styrofoam turned out to be highly flammable too. I think it would have been okay, because I think that counter was some kind of indestructible product pretending to be wood, but I can see how it alarmed people. I'm glad that the drink that someone poured on it wasn't high enough in alcohol content to burst into flame itself, because then we would have had kind of a napalm situation.

Labels: chuden, classical taijutsu, fire, ninja, okuden, Propits, shoden, To-Shin Do

My second story recently published in Women's Magazine. Check out the story here: http://www.womensmag.com/news/2008/oct/30/womens-date-aggressor-safety/. I am so enjoying the opportunity to share my perspective and experiences with others. Please email me with questions you'd like me to cover in my column. Use our contact form or email me at mary@boulderquest.com.

Labels: date aggression, Date rape, empowerment, safety, To-Shin Do, women, Women's Magazine

I'm at the dojo, preparing for my first call with my Biz Coach. I'd been thinking in the past few months that a coach might be able to help me organize my thoughts to take the dojo to its next level. But...I wasn't really sure I was ready to make the financial investment. Every decision I make these days goes through the filter, "How many students will this bring me?" I wasn't sure and so I put that desire to a back-burner. Then I heard about my award and included in my package was 1 year of coaching!

Our industry has lots of conferences and I was thinking about going to one recently. My teacher, Stephen K. Hayes, was one of the featured speakers so I knew there would be valuable content. I was distressed, however, by the lack of professionalism in the sponsoring organization. When I heard that my friend would be visiting during the dates of the seminar, I put that on the back burner and decided to look for other opportunities to connect with businesses owners like myself. Then I heard about my award and it included a travel stipend to Charlotte for a conference and conference tuition for the Charlotte and the Fort Lauderdale events!

We don't have a bulk store here in Boulder and I was trying to decide if it was worth driving to Louisville for Sam's Club or Costco. The rising cost of gas and the slight membership fee made me question if was the best use of my time and money. And then I heard about my award and it included a business membership to Sam's Club. I activated the membership yesterday and bought a new video camera and saved $100 on my selected model!

As part of our martial tradition, there is a mind tradition: a collection of secrets and teachings about accessing your full potential. One of these secrets is the power of manifestation. When I saw the email announcing that the Sam's Club applications were available, I jumped on it. When I ran into technical difficulties, I called the Count Me In offices (twice actually). I was inspired by the process of completing the application, and I won! Thank you to Count Me In and Sam's Club for creating this opportunity for my manifestation.

Mary Aitoshi

Labels: Count Me In, entrepreneur, manifestation, martial arts, mind science, To-Shin Do