Every martial artist struggles with graceful transitions. Whether we're discussing the transfer of weight between feet or the shift from student to Coach, everyone struggles to maximize grace and minimize awkwardness. Yet the awkwardness holds for us the greatest moments of revelation. Too often, I watch students trying to rush through the awkwardness, pretend it's not there, or make it insignificant to the final result. Despite any negativity about our own shortcomings, we should instead embrace them. Our awkwardness is to be celebrated!

Every day offers opportunities to witness our awkwardness. Did you have a awkward phone call that you know could have gone better? Did you snap at someone who was trying to help but you weren't ready for that help? Did you try to execute a forward throw, only to fall down when you got the results your tried to create?

Awesome! Truly this is a process, a revelationary moment to be viewed with amazement at the depth and complexity of a single moment. This is also a perfect moment for true connection with someone if you can gracefully own your part in the awkwardness, people will gravitate to your authenticity, rather than be intimidated by your attempt at perfection.

My advice for martial artists or anyone looking to improve themselves: Get off the Busy Bus. Too often the mantra of "I'm so busy" has become the answer to the question "How are you?" Stop it. Slow down and watch what you are doing. Some of my biggest breakthroughs have come from slowing down long enough to see what mistake I am making. "Stop, stop. Stay back. And give your brain room to breathe".

Labels: awkward, self improvement, slow down

The summer before sixth grade, my family rented a house in Atlantic City, NJ. My friends and I would walk the boardwalk every day (wearing fringe shirts with iron-on unicorns, I might add). I found the crowds a little overwhelming and I got really tired of dodging people, so I stopped. If you weren't watching where you were going, you'd run right into me. I wouldn't try to run into you but it still happened. It was like Empowerment Chicken for pedestrians. My friend got really embarassed when it happened but I felt like I was finally taking a stand for myself. After a few weeks I realized that if I walked a certain way, people naturally dodged me instead. Now I had choice, I could get small and sneaky and navigate through a crowd and no one even knew I was there. Or I could project energy and saunter through the crowd and people would flow around me. Having those options serves me well to this day so here's some other games I play that improved my feelings of worth.

1. The smile game: Next time you have a surly or disaffected cashier, see if you can get that person to smile. Bonus points if they smile because they've connected with you and don't think you're escaped from the funny farm.

2. Call an old friend: It takes courage to call someone you've neglected but just making the effort helps improve your inner landscape.

3. Use the Find Friends tool on Facebook: Nothing like 300+ friends to help you feel great about yourself.

4. Say No: This is a classic technique for connecting with your power. It's so basic that every toddler on the planet discovers it. Embrace the Power of No! For bonus points, don't qualify your no with "I'm sorry but" or "I hope you don't mind". Double bonus points for only saying it 1x.

5. Pedestrain Chicken: As in the story above, try walking down a crowded sidewalk in a straight line without varying your pace or trajectory. It's good, clean fun.

Post a comment and let me know how it went. Keep score and we'll see who wins!

Labels: empowerment, games, self improvement